Parenting is the Qualification for Church Leadership

1 Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task…. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) …12 A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well. 13 Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus. ~ 1st Timothy 3:1,4-5,12-13

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. ~ Luke 16:10

7 Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. ~ Hebrews 13:7

What qualifies people for leadership in God’s Kingdom? How do I know who I should be listening to and who I should be avoiding?

Whoever has a better home life.

Peak Delayed Gratification

Parenting might be the ultimate training ground for delayed gratification:

• Who has spent time training and disciplining their kids?
• Who has humbled and committed themselves for the often thankless task of parenting?
• Who has endured sleepless nights? (I hate losing sleep)
• Who has had to ask for forgiveness after losing their tempers again?
• Who has to wake up every day willing to commit to this struggle again and again?

Having a well managed family is hard.

It’s easy to get mad at children, or give into them, or want it all to go away.

Every parent (including me) has been there.

But you don’t parent for the now. Parenting is an investment for the future. It’s a choice that will take years to see the fruit from.

Because one day your children will grow up and the way you’ve led and trained them will be revealed.

And your kids are a reflection of you. If you’ve done a good job, your kids will demonstrate that. If you’ve done a poor job, your kids will demonstrate that.

Earn the Ability to Serve

When it comes to church leadership, there are a lot of things American Christianity looks for:

• A seminary degree
• Their theological positions
• Are they charasmatic?

But I think it’s rarely: get married, have a couple kids and manage your home life well.

The 1st Timothy passage lists many qualifications beyond just having a peaceful home:

2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. ~ 1st Timothy 3:2-4

But a lot of these are generally implied in a peaceful, joyful and well managed home.

• Self-control is required when dealing with young, selfish and immature humans everyday.
• Young children need to be taught how to act and treat people.
• A violent person is generally going to raise violent kids.
• If you love money, it’s easy to be consumed by work instead of working on your parenting skills.
• etc

Family Is a Reflection

If you see a good parent with kids that are a joy to be around, they’re doing a lot of things right.

No one is perfect, but parents reap what they sow. And given a long enough time frame, it’s easy to separate the good parents from the bad ones.

And that is only born out in time.