Building Culture Through The Bedtime Routine
I’m a father to 4 kids, and I want to be intentional about teaching and instructing them.
- I want a specific type of family culture.
- I want my kids sharing my wife and I’s faith.
- I want my kids to have life long relationships.
- I would love to run businesses together with my kids.
I think a lot about how I can help impart them in them. To make that easier, I want to take advantage of the moments where their hearts and soft and open.
I’ve found bedtime to be a consistent time where I can speak truths and character into them.
I’m starting to slow down and take advantage of that opportunity.
Our Old Routine
Our old bedtime routine used to look like:
- Change into PJ’s, brush teeth, go to the bathroom, etc.
- Get into beds.
- Pray and sing.
- Then let them go to sleep.
In general it worked for us. We had the usual bedtime problems, can’t fall asleep, kids talking, getting out of bed, etc.
I was listening to a podcast (I think from Abraham’s Wallet), and the guest mentioned that bedtime is a time for him to cultivate relationship and character with his kids.
Our New Routine
That led me to try out a new step in our bedtime routine:
- Change into PJ’s, brush teeth, go to the bathroom, etc.
- Get into beds.
- Pray and sing.
- I (the dad), would stay and talk with my kids.
- Then let them go to sleep.
I have started doing several things during that new time:
- Tell stories of my childhood
- They ask for “stories from the olden days”
- Have a faith conversation
- This could be topical, talking about forgiveness, grace, etc.
- This could be reflecting on a bible story.
- Or sharing something from my life that’s relevant to the day.
- Or casting a vision for them.
- I apologize for something I did that day
- The bedtime routine can be stressful, this is a great time for me to humble myself and demonstrate repentance.
Moments of Formation
I probably do it about 50% of our nights. If we’re going to bed late, I’ve had a hard day or I’m going somewhere we will skip it.
I’ve found my kid’s hearts soft and open during this time. As a father, I want to take advantage of that to help train and teach.
Intentional Wins
Why am I doing this? Because I’m trying to be more intentional.
The things I want to see in my kids (faith, culture, relationships), don’t happen by accident. As a father, I have a unique role and mission to influence and make that happen.