The Verbal Compliment Rule

I’m looking for ways to build community and connection. I’ve always found it hard.

I came across this LinkedIn post the other day.

In March 2021, I joined a fru fru gym.

$229 a month, ocean views, lighting that doesn’t supercharge your cortisol.

But if I was paying that much, I was going to meet people.

One problem: nobody at the gym wants to meet people.

I also used to pretend to read nutrition labels at the grocery store to avoid people I knew.

So I made a rule.

If someone impresses me — something they chose, not something they were born with — I’m saying it out loud.

“Man, hard not to notice your workouts. Every movement you do, I’ve never done.”

“I swear every time I see you, you’re half out of breath and ready to go again.”

“I wish I had half your style.”

The smiles. I’ll never forget.

Some of those people became my closest friends. At a gym. Where nobody talks to each other.

Turns out most people are walking around waiting for someone to notice something real about them.

A compliment about a choice someone made will always land harder than one about something they can’t control. Activate to view larger image,

Let me pull out the parts I really liked:

So I made a rule.

If someone impresses me — something they chose, not something they were born with — I’m saying it out loud.

The smiles. I’ll never forget.

Some of those people became my closest friends. At a gym. Where nobody talks to each other.

Turns out most people are walking around waiting for someone to notice something real about them.

A compliment about a choice someone made will always land harder than one about something they can’t control.

I want to start doing this in my life. When I am impressed by the way someone goes about their day. I want to let them know.

I also feel like people are waiting for connection, just don’t know how to start it.

I could help be a trigger for that in my life.