A couple of years ago, my wife and I attended the Dallas Symphony Orchestra. To be honest, I wasn’t really looking forward to it.
I thought the music was boring, my mind kept wondering, I was ready to leave.
Then one of the musicians approached a mic and said, “I hope you guys are enjoying yourself! If you’re not, it’s probably your fault!”
That statement challenged my mindset about this concert. It made me realize that I wasn’t enjoying myself because I didn’t want to enjoy myself.
If it was my fault, then I had the ability to change.
After a couple seconds of thinking, I decided to change my mindset and I enjoyed the rest of the evening.
In much the same way, our perceptions about ourselves either limit or enhance the way we experience life.
What they are self perceptions, how do they impact us and how we can change them?
What Are Self Perceptions?
Self Perceptions are what we believe about ourselves.
- I enjoy …
- I’m good at …
- I can’t do …
They can be anything. They can be true or false.
For myself, two self perceptions worth discussing in this article are:
- I’m good at programming
- I’m bad at communication
How Do Self Perceptions Influence Us?
Self perceptions are lenses that we filter the world through.
Thinking back to my concert. I initially didn’t want to enjoy the event, so I didn’t. But when I changed my perception of the event I enjoyed it.
Self perceptions work the same way.
If I feel like I’m bad at communication, I’ll be critical of my communication. Small communication issues leave me frustrated. At times I feel powerless because no matter what I do “I’m bad at communication”.
On the other hand, I’m good at programming. I’ve been programming professionally for 7ish years now. When I run into problems programming, I figure out ways to solve them. I have confidence and faith in my skill, and that’s reflected in my action.
Good self perceptions can elevate us 📈, bad self perceptions can tear us down 📉.
Challenging My Self Perceptions
We all have self perceptions and they all influence us. So how can we go about changing them?
First we have to believe that we have the ability to change them. I have to believe that I can become good at communication. Adopting that mindset sets me up for success.
Verbally challenging my perceptions helps me thinking differently. I have gotten in the habit of saying outloud “I am a good communicator” “I can communicate effectively” to myself in order to help change the way I think.
Lastly, gain experience in whatever you think you’re bad at. About a year ago I joined a local Toastmasters club. I was pretty hesitant to speak at first, but I’ve grown a lot. In the past year I’ve given nine speeches, I’ve evaluated people, and I’ve been toastmaster of the meeting several times.
This growing body of experience helps remind me that I can communicate. I’m literally practicing it every week.
Conclusion
Self perceptions are a lens that we view and experience life through. Sometimes that benefits us, other times it harms us
Ultimately we have control over our self perceptions. We can change what doesn’t help us.
I’ll leave you with two questions:
- What self perceptions do you have?
- How are they influencing your life?